He meant woman too.

[IF]

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!

--Rudyard Kipling

A Girl Crush

So is it weird that I completely have a girl crush on the Pioneer Woman?

Or is it weirder that Mom told her BFF Hyacinth that?? And that Hyacinth knows who we are in a weird round about southern KS / northern OK way?

Every time I post a comment (like HOW can I buy a freaking print???) I'm a little terrified she'll click on my name and see my blog and decide I'm not cool enough to be BFF with.

I seriously have spent too much time thinking about this.

I took 'em too...

So...

I was a grilled cheese. Totally flawed test I think ("In your opinion, the best things in life are free, easy, and fun.You totally go with the flow. And you enjoy every minute of it!")

16% Republican? 36% Democrat? That's only 52%. I think that means that 48% of it is just plain ridiculous. Malarkey, if you will.

That might be because I am a millenial...the internet was invented the year I was born. And the entire East Coast was happy because the Orioles won the World Series and the Redskins won the Superbowl. I know, parallel universe.

I also want to live in Dublin. We should all move.

Reasons you should take your boyfriend to weddings instead of your dad...

1. People who had not seen me in a while would not assume I was in fact my DAD'S girlfriend. Seriously. Actually happened. AGAIN. [Sidebar: Why can't people in Sedan age me? Dory Tucker called me Jill all night and I heard a few people ask if my name is Ann. WTF?]
2. The LOOK doesn't work as well on my dad. You know, "go with me to get a margarita and laugh at the semi-funny things I say" LOOK. [Sidebar: My boyfriend does not exactly respond all that well to the LOOK either.]
3. When I am clearly tearing up at the sentiment of a beautiful ceremony, my boyfriend would not lean over and say "I liked it short, remember that." To be fair, if I mentioned marriage to my boyfriend he would act like I tasered him.
4. Is it wrong to wish you were introducing your boyfriend instead of your dad?
5. I looked good. Seemed wasted. :)

Now that I have regaled you with the good times of Dad-as-a-Date, I should mention that the wedding was BEAUTIFUL, Jenna looked AMAZING. It was a very personal wedding and I really liked it; very much all about these two people who so clearly love each other. I wish we had been able to stay longer, but alas.

WTF, Mate?

So I was looking at the rubber ducky selection in the world right now and ran across some very disturbing merchandise. I am not sure what kind of market exists for this type of rubber ducky obsession; frankly I am a bit concerned about the entire thing.

For instance, a Jesus Celebriduck is available for a bargain of $9.99. Except it is out of stock, indicating to me that the Jesus Celebriduck is more popular than Moses. Or Buddha. Don't even get me started on the LDS Mormon Missionary Duckies.

I can get behind the rappers, the Queen Elizabeth and Shakespeares, even the Medieval Crusaders...but Mormons? I mean, really people? Really?

WTF, mate?

Woe to my credit card strip...

So I made it back from the grand adventure in Memphis (One If by Land, Two if by Sea). No tire incidents, just two and a half days of shopping, giggling, and mocking unfortunates. Some of thm truly deserved it, so no sympathy pangs people. And, no one worry, I will be incredibly weel dressed at Jenna's wedding!